Monday, March 22, 2010
Someone Please Tell God to Punch Back In
Does anyone, and I do mean anyone, have an open line of communication with God these days?
Is it possible that a priest or a nun, perhaps an elderly bible toting church going woman or someone who’s just been saved recently have a direct line of communication to the Lord?
And I don’t want to speak to any middlemen – no apostles – I’m looking to speak directly to the supernatural man himself, the one who’s supposed to be looking down over us and making sure we don’t get “too” far out of hand…
Um, hello… God… we’re way the hell out of hand down here!
Ladies, it’s true… God has to be a man… I can’t possibly imagine a female God allowing life to become so damn unnaturally screwed up down here on Earth… I mean come on… am I lying? Things are really, really out of hand.
If there is anyone out there that has the supernatural ability or maybe the 1-800 number, please call God immediately and pass this message on to him for me… Tell him Ivan Sanchez said it’s time to get back to work. His lunch break, coffee break, naptime or whatever it is he’s been doing since 30 AD should be over by now…
Tell him I said we need him to come down from the Heaven’s and straighten a few things out for us.
What an understatement huh?
If he gives you any trouble, if he says anything like, “The nerve of that Ivan Sanchez…” or “Who the hell does he think he is…” Tell him I’m just as pissed at him as he is at me.
Tell him I’m still very upset about all the World Wars…
Tell him I’m tired that soldiers are still dying in wars all over the world.
Tell him I’m upset he never answered my prayers for world peace – I spent 10 years in Catholic School, that’s a lot of unanswered prayers… A lot of Hail Mary’s, a lot of Our Fathers…
You better believe I’m upset.
Tell him I still don’t understand the Holocaust. Why were 12 million innocent men, women and children persecuted and gassed, tortured, shot to death and just plain slaughtered like cattle?
Couldn’t you have thrown a lightning bolt directly at Hitler’s ass without leaving the comfort of Heaven’s kitchen?
Don’t you read the newspapers or watch the evening news? We’re getting massacred down here…
Speaking of mass genocide, couldn’t you have thrown lighting bolts at Mao Ze-Dong and put a stop to the Chinese Revolution which killed upwards of 30 million? What about Stalin and the 17 million
Russians who died of hunger and war? Or Hideki Tojo, who had 5 million civilians slaughtered during WWII.
They can’t possibly go to hell… So please tell me you welcome them all in to Heaven…
What about all this modern day genocide in Bosnia, Rwanda and Darfur?
What about the 20 million AIDS deaths in Africa… and those all over the world for that matter?
Or let’s talk about the 1 billion people who go to sleep hungry every night… and the 16,000 children who die of hunger-related causes every day. That’s one child every five seconds Lord… One Innocent child dying every five seconds…
Are you simply too busy to address any of these horrific acts against humanity… huh God?
You have to talk to me here… I have all these people saying, “God bless…” But I’m not interested in being blessed while the rest of humanity is suffering.
So tell me… Is it 2012?
Is that when you’re going to come back down here and straighten out this mess we’ve made?
If you’re waiting on an invitation Lord… here it is…. “Dear God… Please send help now!!!”
And don’t forget to bring Jesus, Jehovah, Buddha, and Allah with you. I have a funny feeling it’s going to take a team to turn this thing around.
To all those who read this blog and believe I’m headed straight to hell… Please don’t pray for me, don’t worry about me… Pray for all those who see hell right here on earth.
I’ve already seen the fiery pits of hell in the eyes of children… and in the eyes of the elderly… a pain that can’t be duplicated no matter how hot the molt and lava are… I’ll either adjust to the heat or I’ll find a way to put the fire out… I’ll be OK.
Just do me this one little favor and tell God to punch back in and get back to work already…
I don’t know about any of you… But I’ve seen enough to lose my faith in the unseen.
The only faith I have left is in humanity. I know we’re still capable of beautiful things when we come together as one.
The only question is… Will we ever come together as one?
Ivan Sanchez is the author of Next Stop: Growing up Wild-Style in the Bronx (Touchstone – Simon & Schuster, 2008). The book is the first memoir released by a major publishing house written by a Puerto Rican from the Bronx. Sanchez is also the co-author of It’s Just Begun: The Epic Journey of DJ Disco Wiz, Hip Hop’s First Latino DJ (powerHouse, 2009). He was awarded the National Novel honors for his first fiction offering and is currently working on several new books about NY Latinos. He is also the co-host of Rebel Radio on Urban Latino Radio.